Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Everyone here is always like, “Eat the rich,” but then Carol Baskin feeds her millionaire husband to a tiger and it’s a problem, hypocrites

   25 days on lock down and I feel lazier than the guy who created the Japanese flag

   sorry folks, he will go down as one of the greatest Presidents in History

   Feeling sorry for cannibals who are social distancing. No handshakes… just cold shoulders.

   He says he is against the use of mail in ballots for elections, but yet he used a mail in ballout to cast is vote in the Florida primary election.

   * He more of a fearleader than a cheerleader.

   * He claims he went to an ivy league college, and has an incredible vocabulary. To bad his incredible vocabulary isn't part of the english language.

   Here's an idea: Let's put the MSM in quarantine for 30 days to stop the spread of Fake News.

   Why did Wisconsin Supreme Court change to the Dems? I think I'm going to kill myself.

   * With the people staying home. The air pollution levels have dropped. I actually went out in my back yard today, and smelled fresh air for the first time in twenty years.

   n't Coors Light a redundancy?

   Wonder if those tide pod eaters were on to something if soap kills the Coronavirus?

   I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe

   I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

   Seems like the pajama market on eBay is starting to get price gouged.

   some people write LOCKDOWN cuz they can't spell KWARANTEEN!!

   Think I need to take a break from Facebook as although it's been great being able to keep in contact with you all and I'll miss you I have to go inside to let my phone charge for about an hour.

   I wasn’t going to vote for B¡den, but now that 0bama has endorsed him, I’m not going to vote for him even harder.

   Woman walks in Dentist office with a pet: Do you work on dogs? Dentist: No why? Woman: My Yorky has a severe underbite. Dentist: Mam, that's a Shih Tzu.

   You think quarantine is boring? I just edited all the slow motion scenes in Baywatch back to regular speed. The entire series was only 16 minutes long.