Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Googled "What women want" and a photo of me was shown.

   Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.

   Its never too early to start drinking on Christmas day :)

   first Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, now Kim Jong Il. all of my bedroom wall poster idols are dead

   Not feeling the Christmas spirit? Go elf yourself!

   first it was Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, now Kim Jong Il. all of my bedroom wall poster idols are dead

   might apply for Kim Jong-il's job... I've always fancied a KOREA in politics !!!

   Imagine how much lag they had 2000 years ago: it took Jesus 3 days to respawn.

   Ding Dong Kim Jong is Dead

   "Is Kim Jong IL ? "No He's DEAD !!!

   A sure way to be disappointed is to trust easily without verifying.

   Okay future girlfriend, you can stop playing hide and seek now.

   I googled "what women want" and my computer crashed......

   So apparently when you get pulled over around Christmas and the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over sir" The incorrect answer is "You know how important of a person I am and you figured this would be the only chance you would get to wish me a Merr

   Obama was right about North Korean, no need to go to war to remove Dictator Kim Jong .

   I googled "what women want" and my screen froze, then my computer started to smoke and caught on fire then exploded.

   RIP Kim Jong Il...and by RIP, I mean Rot in Perdition. May Satan put you in charge of North Hell

   wondering what Hugo Chavez is thinking right about now.

   I throw lemons at life and say learn how to live.

   I'm convinced that everything bad that happens to me is because it's what the universe did for a Klondike bar... Well played universe!