Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon My girlfriend wrote on a balloon, “Will you propose to me?” - So I immediately popped the question.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 09:34 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always release a new version of myself on Tuesdays.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 08:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I will be happier than a bird with a French Fry...
←Rate | 12-06-2011 08:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My last relationship was a lot like high school spanish. It was 2 years of irritating gibberish & I left having learned almost nothing.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 06:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being strangers, then friends, then more than friends, then strangers again.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 05:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must have been really strange for Jesus to be the only white guy in the entire Middle East.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 05:53 by shaun Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was watching Rudolf the other day and I have to call shenanigans, half way through it I realized reindeer can't talk!! Fooled again!
←Rate | 12-06-2011 05:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard Mayan calendars are selling like there's no tomorrow...
←Rate | 12-06-2011 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember GENTLEMEN, you have to undo her bra to get a better look at her heart
←Rate | 12-06-2011 05:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had this awful dream I was being chased by 'The Count' from 'Sesame Street'. I took off into a field of sheep and managed to escape while he fell asleep...
←Rate | 12-06-2011 04:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for Me, it would just be Aweso
←Rate | 12-06-2011 04:45 by Dman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slut (Noun) - A woman with the morals of a man.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 03:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
←Rate | 12-06-2011 02:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
←Rate | 12-06-2011 02:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
←Rate | 12-06-2011 02:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
←Rate | 12-06-2011 02:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Untill now I haven't felt this much pressure on a particular thing, so... "why this kolaveri di"?!!!
←Rate | 12-06-2011 01:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (O_o) (-_-) (-_-) <-- Me & my boys. Don't talk to Bob, he's on Ecstasy"
←Rate | 12-06-2011 01:12 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Week day → Morning: (~_~) Middle of the day: -__- Home: \(*~*)/
←Rate | 12-06-2011 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎‎(o・_・)ノ”(ノ_<。) I hate you -__- ?30secs later (っ˘з(˘.˘ )♥ Bipolar Love
←Rate | 12-06-2011 00:50 by fadolo Comments (0)  




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