Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4116 of 6396
Drawing sunglasses on the sun never really made sense to me.
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12-19-2011 14:20 by flinnie
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It's hard to get people's sympathy when your life is in shambles, mainly because the word shambles sounds so darn adorable. Shambles!
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12-19-2011 14:18 by flinnie
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Probably didnt think through the whole yelling at my boss 'Youre not the boss of me, Bruce Springsteen is.'
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12-19-2011 14:16 by flinnie
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I like big butts, but unfortunately I do lie. So really, I dont like big butts...Or do I? You'll never know.
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12-19-2011 14:16 by flinnie
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Despite protests, my wife has yet to step down from her post as the oppressive leader of our house.
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12-19-2011 14:14 by flinnie
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'You know what really pushes my buttons?....You People.' - Elevators
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12-19-2011 14:07 by flinnie
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You can tell a lot about a girl by her hands. For instance, if theyre placed around your throat shes probably a violent person.
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12-19-2011 14:04 by flinnie
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Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I'm getting tired of running and he's catching up to me
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12-19-2011 14:01 by flinnie
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I'm wearing “thongs” right now, but it's not what you think. I have some flip-flops in my butt.
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12-19-2011 13:59 by flinnie
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It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it takes no muscles to be completely expressionless all the time.
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12-19-2011 13:55 by flinnie
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If you use the word "Humorous" when you could say "Funny," you're just outing yourself as a douchebag.
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12-19-2011 13:51 by flinnie
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.it's almost time for my OBGYN appointment and I haven't even bought a doctor's coat or faked my credentials yet.
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12-19-2011 13:48 by flinnie
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There's always a ho or a rumour that ruins every relationship
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12-19-2011 13:34
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In my books, The Higher the Heels.. The Higher her Standards.
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12-19-2011 13:30
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Nothing brings 2 people together faster than the hatred of a 3rd person
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12-19-2011 13:30
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You can't be rocking the same pair of jeans for 3 straight days and claim you got SAWG.
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12-19-2011 13:28 by Reuben
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hopes that all of you are practicing your "Oh my God, I LOVE it!" face? We're getting closer...
It's up to you to find the beauty in the ugliest day.
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12-19-2011 13:11 by Czovczov
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Ghetto Word of the Day: HARASSMENT. Usage: “My wife caught me sleeping with another woman and I said don't worry honey, harassment nothing to me.”
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12-19-2011 13:03
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still grounded for being awesome
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12-19-2011 13:01
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