santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Not cool, midgets shopping at the mall during Christmas. Very confusing.

   I may be on Santa's naughty list but at least I had fun getting there.

   Well unfortunately this year again, I didnt get to buy any kid's gift on Black Friday. So I'm getting them the usual Xmas present. A big pack of batteries and attach a card to it that says "Toys not Included"..... It's the thought that counts right?

   I tried writing one of those braggy, family Christmas letters,, but it just started looking like a suicide note.

   Does anyone know what an 'Ofah Queue' is? Because that's what my husband said he got me for Christmas this year.

   I'm like a kid in the candy store when I shop for my x-mas presents at the liquor store.

   DEAR SANTA, When you're done with it... Can I have the naughty girl list????

   R.I.P to everybody who didn't make it to Christmas this year.

   Just got a belly piercing. It's a mistletoe, I don't want any confusion on where I want your lips this Christmas.

   I just want to say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" to everyone, well everyone but you. I shaved my nutz for you and you just left me to die a VIRGIN!!

   the world didn't end today?!?! Boy do I have a lot Christmas shopping to do now!

   My favourite Christmas song is the one about baby Jesus passing gas. Forgot what it's called but the main chorus is "Do you hear what I hear?"

   My next plan for Christmas shopping would be buying a couple of laptops to like my status on this ...

   I was just stuffed in to a bag by a fat creepy guy in a red suit. alright! fess up! Who put me on their Christmas list?

   My coworker, a Jehovah's Witness,, wouldn't attend the Christmas luncheon.. She took her bonus check though,, Maybe she's donating it to her church.

   Dear Santa, Please define good.

   How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my favorite holiday special about a burglar whose crimes go wholly unpunished.

   I'm so glad they brought back the McRib for the Holidays...I always wanted an angioplasty for Christmas! ツ

   Santa, you either take my name off the Naughty list, or I show Mrs. Claus those pictures of you with that little blonde elf that works in the Doll department!

   I like to keep the security people at places like Best Buy, etc on their toes. Therefore, when I am leaving after having made a purchase and my item(s) still sets off the alarm, I will always take off running like a bat out of hell. Merry XMas!