Haha Funny Status Messages

   A fifth of Jack will make any girl look sexy.

   "Almond milk will now be known as white stuff from nuts."

   Trump said the Iran agreement was the worst deal ever...... Guess he forgot his $130,000 deal with Stormy

   Trump: Once stated in a speech "If you are innocent, why would you take the 5th amendnent." So he must think his lawyer Cohen is guilty.

   I'am a compulsive liar Everything I say is a lie And that is the truth.... "BELIEVE ME"

   A study says we only use 12% of our brain. Just think how intelligent we would be if we used the other 70%.

   Woman aks pharmacy clerk if they sold extra large comdoms. Clerk said yes, would like a pack? No she replied. But I'd like to wait here untill someone does.

   When we were kids my sister played with dolls and I played with soldiers. Now it's the other way round.

   D: What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea ? P: I don't know. D: I never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

   I don't understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion

   anything is possible with boobs

   given your computer the Swine Flu Virus