love Funny Status Messages

   Love the deli paper on the doctor’s table. Mmm I’m a sick little sandwich

   Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

   I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

   Black Olives Matter... Just love them right out of the can and on salads.

   i can promise you I will never love anyone enough to ride a tandem bike with them

   I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in face, but with words.

   I could really go for a pinata right about now. I’d love to beat the crap out of something and then have some candy.

   I love when people ask, “How’s a person like you single?” I’m mentally ill.

   Keep your relationship fresh by writing each other love notes like, “I considered murdering you whilst ye slumbered in yon bedchambers.”

   64 year old man: Making love to a younger woman may be fatal…. But if she dies, she dies.

   I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection.

   We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer- Joe's Chief of Staff.

   I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening tools, Its called beeches and hoes..

   Facebook reaction emoji’s look a lot like a relationship from start to finish. Like, Love, Ha-Ha, Wow, Crying, Angry.

   Date a cat owner. They love something that doesn’t even like them back.

   Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home, they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

   What with unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and failed relationships, the Love Boat reboot will be titled the "Tug" Boat.

   The Poet: Why do you write? he asked. So, I can take my love for you and give it to the world, I reply. Because you won’t take it from me.

   Love ~ Giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.

   I love you, but I’ve chosen Rock & Roll.