friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   I had a colonoscopy on Friday. Just let me say there are some things you should never use a Groupon for.

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   Canadian thanksgiving this weekend. Don’t forget to eat a beaver.

   I get home and change from casual Friday duds into even more comfortable clothes. Now I just look like melted cheese.

   Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet

   Sometimes waiting for the weekend is better than the weekend itself.

   If you see me in Atlanta this weekend, at a Taylor Swift concert, that's not me.

   [coworker interrupting my story about how my weekend was] first of all McDonald’s doesn’t even have soup

   Remember as we are planing for our tomorrows, our brave soilders are giving theirs today.. Have a safe an wonderful Memorial Day weekend everyone!!

   Ladies in Atlanta this weekend, every big dude is not an NFL player, don't get knocked up by the cook from Waffle House

   I was thinking about going to Walmart for Black Friday but I couldn't find my pajamas.

   Girlfriend asked me to come to her place for a Black Friday special. All clothes were 100% off.

   I wish the weekend came as fast as my ex did.

   The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.

   So many accidents with Hillary. I'm not even sure she still alive, maybe they're just dragging her body like in Weekend at Bernie's

   I think I lost an hour reading all the tweets about how people lost an hour this weekend

   I think daylight saving time should start on a friday at 4pm instead of 2am sunday morning.

   I just got the minivan washed if anyone wants to party this weekend.

   Beginning to question my plans to go yachting with Robert Wagner this weekend.