Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 399 of 6383
Time to take off you Hoser. God speed Bob and Doug Mckenzie
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05-30-2020 16:07 by Claudius
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The most unrealistic part of The Harry Potter books is that teenage boys have an invisibility cloak but aren’t constantly using it to watch the girls of Hogwarts when they are naked in the showers.
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05-30-2020 11:57
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Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
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05-29-2020 09:07
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For the first time since 1945, the Scripps National Spelling Bee has been cancul... cancill... cansi... called off.
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05-29-2020 08:57 by Gabe
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"Alloweth me, I shan't be damned To probe around your lovely clam." - Spongebob Shakespeare
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05-28-2020 13:53 by IARU
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Wats d difference between Las Vegas n Wuhan..wat happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
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05-28-2020 10:10 by raman911
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No mask on your face, you big disgrace, spreading your germs all over the place.
Freddie Mercury,
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05-27-2020 22:45
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Arguing on social media never changes anyones minds. Change my mind
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05-27-2020 22:02
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That moment when you're tired and sleepy, and you drag yourself to bed but then your brain says, "Ha ha, just kidding!" I hate that.
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05-27-2020 21:35 by MTQ
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I've got no status update right now. But thanks for taking the time out to read this status update about not having a status update!
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05-27-2020 11:25
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Just when I'm happy to be alive, The Connors comes on.
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05-26-2020 20:34 by IARU
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Just when I'm feeling proud to be an American, The Connors comes on.
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05-26-2020 20:32 by IARU
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My fiancee keeps asking, "Are you even listening to me?" Which is a really strange way to start a conversation
Bars are opening but patrons are wearing masks. It is the era for ugly people with nice bodies to get laid.
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05-26-2020 16:46
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What's up with Chicanos putting cheese on apple pie? Asking for a gringo. 🥧
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05-26-2020 16:38 by BabaLuey
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If we continue wearing these masks for another year kids will start to think that a nose is a private part
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05-26-2020 13:02
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It rained here in Arizona today, but it was a dry rain.😛
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05-25-2020 22:40 by IARU
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Someone told me they never understood the concept of cloning, I replied "That makes two of us"
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05-25-2020 14:34
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I love reading books that are based on real events but spiced up with a little fiction to keep your interest, kinda like people's Facebook posts.
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05-25-2020 12:20
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An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure so wear a mask.
Benjamin Franklin,
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05-25-2020 06:11 by Ben
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