Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3960 of 6441

I think if I needed to create a successful television program, my target audience would be people with eyes.
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02-13-2012 09:23 by flinnie
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Think I have cabin fever. Just broke out in shingles and little windows
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02-13-2012 09:23 by flinnie
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Ready for winter to be over because I need to see the sun again and also so I can stop sitting on cold toilet seats.
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02-13-2012 09:22 by flinnie
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The other JFK is appropriately called JFK Junior you other big dummy.
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02-13-2012 08:51
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Get your facts right you big dummy: John F Kennedy was born in May 1917 and passed away in 1963. Do the math correctlyly.
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02-13-2012 06:39
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It's 39 degrees, which tells me one thing. That effin' Groundhog knows more about the weather than those clowns on TV.
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02-13-2012 06:19 by Mickey
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Rupert Murdoch is said to be deeply touched by the messages from family and friends left on Whitney Houstons phone.
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02-13-2012 02:41 by trickz100
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People call it Valentine's Day, I call it Tuesday.
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02-13-2012 01:41
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We would have a lot more time if we didn't have "Loading" time.
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02-13-2012 01:40 by Danmanz
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SOME PEOPLE WILL THINK THIS STATUS HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT, INFORMATIONAL, OR EVEN USEFUL... JUST BECAUSE I USED CAPITAL LETTERS!
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02-13-2012 01:22
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Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.
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02-13-2012 01:10
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Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're panicking over who's next to go.
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02-13-2012 01:07
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I always feel sad when I white van drives right past me... It makes me feel like I'm not kidnap worthy
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02-13-2012 01:07
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Afraid of dying alone? Become a bus driver.
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02-13-2012 01:05
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I saw a sign today that made me P!$$ my pants! It said "Bathroom closed."
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02-13-2012 01:05
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You Know You High if you use the flashlight on your phone, to try and find your phone.
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02-13-2012 01:04
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Planet Saturn = 7 rings Michael Jordan = 6 rings Kobe Bryant = 5 rings LeBron James = 1 really nice headband
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02-13-2012 01:03
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I was good at math, until they decided to start mixing in the alphabet too.
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02-13-2012 01:03
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Remember to always stay away from houses when there's a full moon. They turn into warehouses...
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02-13-2012 01:02
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Nerd Wedding: Instead of saying "I do" They say "I accept the terms & conditions"
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02-13-2012 01:01
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