bego Funny Status Messages

   Spending quality time with the people that really matter reminds me of who I am and recharges my love, hope and drive. I'm forever grateful.

   Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects.

   If you're easy to get, then you're easy to forget.

   We text 24/7, but when we meet, it's so awkward.

   Mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating!

   What doesn't kill you, leaves you alive for something else that will.

   I love when my boss catches me actually doing work.

   Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder.

   If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

   Unfriended me? Wow, you sure showed m

   How to kill a Spider: Get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.

   If I text you all like.. "heyy :)" and you reply with "hi", I'm done taking to you..

   Over time you start noticing that some people just aren't worth it anymore.

   My past is my past, it made me who I am, I have no regrets, wouldn't change a thing. I just don't live there anymore.

   The new iPhone 5 will totally revolutionize the way I send all of your calls straight to voicemail.

   I need Google in my brain and Anti-Virus in my heart.

   I was hoping Apple would replace Siri with Morgan Freeman on the iPhone 5

   Who the hell still calls in to request a song on the radio?

   I would probably buy the iPhone5 if it kept me from drunk dialing my exes.

   An apple fan walks into a bar.. Orders the same drink as yesterday, but pays more..