love Funny Status Messages

   My love language is paranoia.

   So the Pope has parted ways with the Mafia? I love how humans picks other humans to lord over them.

   I love scary movies. I've seen Ghostbusters at least 6 times.

   Of course I believe in the Zodiac.... I'm a Leo and I love the movie Titanic...if that's not convincing enough, my grandmother is a cancer.......and she was killed by a giant lobster.

   If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.

   People make promises all the time. I prefer to just make love.

   It's not love if you're sober.

   ‪#‎bringbackourboys‬ Lets make peace not war. Lets love and not hate. We are all the same. We all have the same inspirations in life. Let's do good for each other and stop the hatred.

   Thought I wanted love. Turns out I just want a tattoo.

   Luke Skywalker never found a girlfriend because he was looking for love in Alderaan places.

   20 years ago today the famous OJ Simpson white Bronco chase. As you know he would later be found not guilty in a Calafornia court of murder...Ironically.... He wakes up this morning in JAIL !!! Gotta love Karma!!!

   The thing I love about my ex is she didn't take up much space in the trunk.

   If he looks unhappy, make him bacon, rub his belly, and break out the rubber toys. Dogs love that $h!t.

   I bet Shaquille O'neil hates to sign anything, "Love,Shaq".....because the B52s pretty much ruined that for him...

   I love my UPS guy. He's a drug dealer and doesn't even know it.

   You don’t get to choose who you love but you get to choose which underwear you’ll wear tomorrow and that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

   My love life is so boring that Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are going to make a movie about it.

   Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do

   That moment when you wake up the next morning laying in bed next to the one you just fell in love with and you lay there trying to remember their name? GOD I MISS MY 20'S!

   People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.