trump Funny Status Messages

   .... Hillary reminded me of my condescending Mother in-law and Trump reminded me of my Grumpy Uncle

   The Republicans and the Libertarians should merge their Presidential tickets. Then Trump could really talk about his Johnson!

   Trump promises all Americans a free bag of Skittles when he's President.

   Donald Trump Jr should not make fun of Skittles and Syrian refugees -- his mother is an immigrant and his father is an orange Skittle.

   I certainly hope Donald Trump Jr chokes on a handful of Skittles.

   What if Donald Trump's entire immigration policy was just an elaborate ploy to divorce Melania?

   Interesting. Donald Trump Jr. said his dad releasing tax returns would lead to too many questions. Questions like, "Why have you never, ever paid taxes?"

   Donald Trump claims to only be 236 pounds. His pot belly, turkey neck and jowls plead the fifth.

   Trump reveals his medical records. They include Dr. Dre, Dr. Hook, and the Spin Doctors.

   Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants? Because E.T. eventually went home!

   Mexico announces it's found 6 new oil deposits in Gulf of Mexico. Trump now wants to add a huge door to his wall.

   Trump's appearance on Dr. Oz will solely be for publicity and has nothing to do with real medical information. Same as all the other episodes.

   Dr. Oz pledges to avoid questions Trump doesn't want to answer. It's no big deal; it's not like he's a real journalist. Or a real Doctor.

   Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He’s very serious about trying to make the USA grate again.

   Trump Supporters in a basket? I guess that puts Hillary Supporters in the wood pile.

   Melania Trump homemaker tip: When sorting your laundry, don't forget to separate your deplorables from your coloreds.

   Trump promises to give generals 30 days to create a plan to defeat ISIS. He also wants them to create a perfume and shoot the ads or they'll be fired.

   Roger Ailes is offering to sleep with all Female Trump supporters to raise money for charity.

   Cut Gary Johnson some slack. Donald Trump thought Aleppo was one of the Marx Brothers.

   Hey Trump haters... You guys can still pee in the ladies room since you have been for years anyway