Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ cus' this is thriller, thriller night.

   Remember Ladies, blojobs are flowers for men.

   quit criticizing the girls that take slutty pics and put them on Facebook! I like looking at them you homo!

   if someone tells you their buns are moldy and you're not in the kitchen....RUUUN"!!

   Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.

   There must be a lot of people dumping F/B due to how lame some of these post have become.

   Being free is no guarantee of happiness, but if you're unhappy, at least it will be on your own terms rather than someone else's.

   People who walk on I-95 are so friendly. I've gone past 3 in the last hour and they all gave me the thumbs up.

   I finally got it all together... but I forgot where I put it.

   Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

   People don't seem to realize that doing what's right is no guarantee against misfortune.

   GIVE ME A BEET! ~ Hip hop Chef

   Boycott IHOP!,,,, And only buy domestic.

   c'mon the shopping was'nt that bad at the Eaton Center

   VelVeeta....the expensive government cheese.

   if I wanted a "home cooked" meal, I'd stay home and cook!

   The only difference between try and triumph is a little 'umph'.

   Women, they always want what they can't have!

   Whoever made the ''One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes'' post has never been with a prostitute...

   Richard Dawson has died....WOW!! I'm SHOCKED!!! I thought he died YEARS AGO?!?!?!