friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.

   Why even ask how my weekend was if youre just going to interrupt me halfway through to say Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.

   If you're drinking and driving this weekend don't forget to not text much

   the next person that tells me they have a 3 day weekend is getting a firework shoved up their poop shoot!

   A beer bottle may not be shaped like a Boomerang but it still comes back to me every weekend :-D ;-) :-)

   The 4th of July weekend is upon us, let's celebrate by getting drunk and blowing sh!t up. Oh wait that's what we do ever weekend.

   I asked my gf to record the game on ESPN, which she did, but not ESPN-HD. And then she says, 'Well, at least you still get to watch it.' Oh yeah, I pay extra money so I can watch TV like poor people. I don't even feel bad for cheating on you this weekend.

   Will somebody let me borrow their Delorean to travel to friday already!

   Daily log Monday morning, 9:49am: I have decided I am done trying until Friday night, I've already been here too long this week.

   Ladies, please for god's sake, there is a big difference between your diary entries and Facebook status updates. We really dont need to be informed about your period, your abortions or that STD you caught over the weekend. Keep that sh*t to yourself.

   Happy Friday!! And to all my Atheist and Agnostic friends out there... T_IF!!

   Okay ladies, exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!

   When asked by reporters what he had planned to do on his wedding, Heff said he planned to watch a movie, runaway bride because it seemed appropriate.Really? I guess so. I would have thought A Weekend at Bernie's or Cocoon. :P .

   Attention jobless people on Facebook....You are no longer allowed to mention "Hump Day", "TGIF" or "Can't wait for the weekend!" or anything else that implies you have to work then have days off to relax.

   Looks like Hugh Hefner's fiance finally got her cataracts removed and called off the wedding realizing she'd have to wake up everyday next to a dude that looks worse than the dead guy on "A Weekend at Bernie's"

   Definition of pointless: Jobless people on Facebook updating their status to 'thank God it's the weekend'

   "6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!

   M̸o̸n̸, T̸u̸e̸s̸, W̸e̸d̸, T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸, Friday !!!!

   Mondays are God's punishment for what you did during the weekend ...

   Pride Weekend? You know that you have hit it big when you get a song for a whole weekend. Way to go U2