friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   And on Friday God created alcohol, and Adam was happy! It had been a long first week with Eve

   I go to the liquor store and stock up for hurricanes almost every other weekend.

   Will and Jada splitting, 5.8 earthquake in DC, and now Hurricane Irene as a possible Cat 4 landfall this weekend??? Lord have mercy............

   Wife quote of the weekend: "I can't believe Kim Kardashian is making 2 million dollars off her wedding, and all I made was 2 kids and my father really mad." Thanks, honey, it's all been magical for me too...

   Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.

   Rum, Dr. Pepper, and the Curse of the Black Pearl. The end to a great weekend!

   My Wife:"Honey the sales add says the dealership will make it easy for husbands to get a new car for their spouse this weekend!" Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."

   finally, the Friday of my discontent

   I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday.

   I hate Costco and its costconians on the weekend. Is it really that difficult to move aside while trying to devour your 27th sample? It is not like you're trying to balance fine China on a stick, you're putting a cheese square into yo

   It's the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!

   my buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"

   I feel like I'm livin out the movie friday in this damn recession.... Got cereal, no milk.. Got ham, no bread... Got koolaid, no sugar FML

   Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front

   I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"

   Amy Winehouse started writing songs for a new album this weekend - she only got through a few lines.

   Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

   always gives 100% at work...25% Monday, 15% Tuesday, 5% Wednesday, 3% Thursday, 2% Friday and 50% sleeping throughout

   Hmmm....not quite sure who I'm doing this weekend yet.

   The Royal Couple will be in the U.S. on Friday. Isn't that ironic? We spent Monday celebrating the day we threw the British out, and on Friday we're letting them back in.