Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it. As he got out. I said, "Nice Car." "Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."

   The only thing worse than trying to lose at badminton is trying at badminton.

   That moment when your teacher asks you to read out loud, and you don't know what page they're on.

   Stop with the Chik Fil A jokes... that joke is as stale as your mothers breast milk

   Regardless of your views, you gotta' agree today is a bad day to be a chicken in America

   hope they have a white castle day so I can express how much I hate paying for gas.

   i wanna see Thornton Melon do the Triple Lindy dive....Olympic awesomeness

   We'll be with you soon, starving people of the world, first we need to fight over the ideologies of our fast-food restaurants.

   kinda tired of hearing about it. there's plenty of hotdog and taco stands if you don't like chicken. its all food and we are all allowed freedom of speech. ok jk about the freedom of speech part

   I was excited there was a 'The Paperboy' movie until I watched the trailer and found out it wasn't based on the old Nintendo game.

   I don't want chicken. I want Manicotti. Manicotti-fil-A. Now we're talkin'.

   Lesbians are boycotting Chick Fil A by eating Shushi ;)

   BREAKING NEWS: Governor Orders Statewide Car Wash To Induce Rain.

   Ancestry.com: The southern version of eHarmony.

   This leftist boycott of Chick FiL A is the first actual economic stimulus of the Obama era........

   I just got the comment that I do not have any horses in the stable ... so I'll go and buy a pony now.

   the line was so long at chick fil a, I got some KFC to eat while I waited...

   believe in the magical idealism and the theory of the absolute individual

   I seen a Lady driving a 18 wheeler on the highway today..Thought to my self.. Thats a funny looking kitchen..

   went out on a Friday and woke up one Monday in Bratislava chained and naked on a bench in the lap of an unknown man named Miroslav