Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Now I see why the Jamacia's flag is Green,yellow and black.. It's the color bananas go........
←Rate | 08-09-2012 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best times of my life were spent either blowing bubbles or playing with titties…
←Rate | 08-09-2012 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “if I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning.” And yet, people complain about today's song lyrics…
←Rate | 08-09-2012 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me or does it seem like the Olympics have been on for like 10 days straight now???
←Rate | 08-09-2012 14:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What the hell is humourous whit, and why would anyone brag about it?
←Rate | 08-09-2012 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If only they had and Olympic event for Facebook, my FB friend would win Gold everytime in the Drama event..
←Rate | 08-09-2012 13:40 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon It amazes me how many people complain about privacy on Facebook than have there profile set to public. Morons!
←Rate | 08-09-2012 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Each day of my life is like a chapter in a book.....deserving of a happy ending....
←Rate | 08-09-2012 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I MAY have just clinched Olympic Gold,, by going 5 for 5,,, in my "popping the trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station." routine.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 11:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention friends who don't understand humor,,, please do not attempt to reply to the posts of us who have humorous whit,,,, it's beyond your skill level.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 11:07 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whenever you refer to a "hot girl" in your story,,,, I'll say, "She wasn't that hot, But go on."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to know something about me??? Well,,, ANYTHING a monkey points at,,,,, I will Immediately look at....
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon What happens when you autotune Stephen Hawking?
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:50 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well YES,,,, Actually, I've been published in Several bathrooms throughout the Northeast...
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:50 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put a Justin Bieber's song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don't have to listen to that shit
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This place smells of sexual frustration, hopelessness, loneliness, disappointment Skittles & vodka. God it's good to be at home.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have decided I am going to write erotica for the elderly. Excerpts from Chapter 1: "He wondered why she took off her Dentures. Later he could not thank her enough."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:10 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Entertain me with your boredom
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When asked "What's Up" respond "A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask "where am I?" and whatever they say I runaway screaming "Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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