Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

   THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN

   thinks mother nature is bi-polar

   youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

   starting to think Brett Favre switched places with mother nature, the weather seems very indecisive lately........

   They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

   wanted a motorcycle when he left school, but his mother said no. She had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18..... So she said I could just have his.

   just came back from a pleasure trip (took the mother-in-law to the bus station)

   have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

   wondering if the I.R.S. will noticed she claimed A.I.G. and Obama's mother-in-law as dependents!

   "kid tested, mother approved "