life Funny Status Messages

   Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.

   If he wants you to be in his life, he'll put you there. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot on the couch.

   Dad Tip: Read fairytales backwards to your daughter. She'll think it's good to give up being a princess for a life of housecleaning.

   'Battery life' is an interesting phrase...it signifies thas your smartphone's battery has a life, but you don't.

   If she spits on it first, you better get ready for the night of your life!

   Pro Tip: 84% of my adult life is singing the chorus from Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love To You" at the most inappropriate time.

   I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.

   My life is an open book. But it's very poorly written and I die in the end.

   If you carry a gas can in your trunk, you should rethink your life plan...

   It's not stalking if you're documenting their life for a mixtape.

   .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.

   The very best time to re-examine your life is after you’ve had too much to drink on Memorial Day long weekend.

   It's never too early to get life size cardboard cuts-outs of yourself made up for this year's Christmas presents.

   Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried.

   life is short…smile while you still have teeth

   May every one of your life's ups and downs...occur in bed.

   If it weren't for marriage, many of us would go thru life thinking we had no faults at all.

   Nothing has held me back in life more than not knowing which U.S. National Park I am. If only there was a way to find out.

   I always thought my adult life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.

   Give the gift of life. Become an organ donor. Hot singles in your area will appreciate it.