Funny Status Messages

   The slower the kiss, the easier for love to slip through.

   Love is not only for lovers, it is also felt by friends who understand each other more than lovers.

   Yuck. There's nothing more disgusting than cigarette butts in the urinal.. What's worse is that their so d@$% hard to light!

   I would probably leave my wife at this gas station if I knew how to make sandwiches.

   I don't trust Penguins. I know you can fly!

   Having a p enis doesn't make you a man. Getting mad at some Ikea wood pieces after not reading the instructions makes you a real man.

   Music doesn't deserve our bad memories.

   Quick! Marry me, I'll explain later.

   A broken spirit doesn't stay broken forever. When it's whole again, God have mercy on my tormenters, because I won't.

   to all bullies out there enjoying what they do: One day you will have kids too...have fun when they get bullied, I know I will! ;)

   "Balloon boy" and his Dad are watching this launch, envious on an incalculable level!

   Now accepting wagers as to which will be the faster and more prolific descent today: Felix Baumgartner space jump or the Buffalo Bills....

   Cortana dies at the end of Halo 4. There, I just saved you 6 hours of your life.

   Ladies, if he's wearing a hat in every picture; guess what's under that hat. Yep, nothing…

   Guys, if her FB is full of pictures but none of her; run, run like the wind…

   If you think 7 yrs is bad luck for breaking a mirror, try a broken condom!

   "Rawr" does NOT mean "I love you" in dinosaur. You ever seen Jurassic Park? It means, I'm going to eat you

   What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box? Not suitable for children. Colors may vary.

   give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate...

   My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it's because she's a big dumb stinkyhead that's jealous of my awesome Transformers collection