Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
I've never gone down on a man, but I'm probably pretty amazing at it from all the times I've stopped soda fizz from overflowing. 
I only like games where the winner gets their stomach pumped at the hospital
Was it really that much of a surprise? Elmo has been playing with kids while he was naked the whole time.
In a vicious cycle of abuse...Elmo is just mimicking his childhood abuse when Mr. Noodle forced Elmo to play with his "noodle"
Too good to work fast food when you were young? Have you noticed that you are a loser now?
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven't fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
Yes, Yes, YES! Not entirely sure what a "propriate" is, but apparently I'm in it...
If Elmo is a kid toucher I'd hate to think what goes on down in Oscar's trash can
Show me on this Elmo doll where the bad man touched you...
BREAKING NEWS: Geologists locate mountain high enough... Valley low enough still elusive...
Black ops 2 comes out tomorrow!! \(T^T)/
Point.. Wink.. Shoot finger gun.. Blow smoke from tip of finger gun.. Wipe prints off finger gun.. Bury finger gun where no one can find it.
I took a nap... Well, actually I was jumping on the bed and the ceiling fan knocked me unconscious,,,,,,,,,,,,,, But still
checking her list...lots of naughty this year!!
After today's news I can never look at Tickle Me Elmo the same way again.
CORRECTION: "Who are we?" "Men!" "What do we want?" "s3x!" "When do we want it?" "24/7/365!"
One man's hoe is probably another man's hoe too.
Just put pop rocks in the kitty litter!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! Proof that even chickens believe in an afterlife.
Jeez. There is no reason to tailgate me in the SLOW LANE. Especially when I'm doing 20 kph over the limit anyways. And those stupid ricer flashing red and blue lights on your roof make you look ridiculous. 