Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 300 of 6383
It's slushing! Which is how we say in the South it's snowing.
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02-01-2021 10:47
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According to research, sex during pregnancy is always safe — unless your wife comes home and catches you.
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02-01-2021 09:50
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You ever get a friend request and be like, “Nah, you look like you steal copper”
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02-01-2021 06:21
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A man goes to the white house to see trump the Marine guard tells him Trump is no longer the president and is not here. The man returns the next day asking to see trump
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02-01-2021 06:18
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If a supervisor at work gets the Covid, do the people who kiss his ass have to get tested? Asking for a friend.
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01-31-2021 19:37
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Police: Where you going? Me: With you once you run my name !
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01-31-2021 05:38 by drwinkey
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Her: What sign are you most attracted to? Me: The Dunkin Donuts sign.
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01-31-2021 00:21 by Moon
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Before there was Facebook and Twitter there was "As World Turns" and "The Days of Our Lives" for cusip.
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01-30-2021 19:56 by Moon
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I think I’d rather be asleep than woke. They seem to be so unhappy
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01-29-2021 22:47 by Lonmo
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I don’t need the Government to run my life. I can screw it up all by myself.
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01-29-2021 22:46 by Lonmo
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When this Covid thing is over "is starting to sound like... "When the DALLAS COWBOYS win the Super Bowl"
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01-29-2021 19:29 by Good740
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"When covid Is over" Is starting to sound like "when the Dealls Cowboys win the Super Bowl.
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01-29-2021 19:26 by MM740
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Do Chinese cities have Americatowns?
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01-29-2021 15:42
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No one is my co-pilot; that seat’s for my snacks.
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01-29-2021 15:31
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I made a belt out of herbs; what a waist of thyme.
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01-29-2021 15:12
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Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower
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01-29-2021 13:12
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And how does everyone feel about the cost of epipens and diabetes meds, Thanks Biden.. how you like me now?
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01-29-2021 11:34
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why doesnt James Bond Fart ine Bed? It would blow his cover
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01-29-2021 09:08
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I got a spam email telling me my online reputation needs some work. And, now I want to know which one of you has been running your mouth.
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01-29-2021 08:00
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Breaking news!! Biden overheard telling Dr Jill, that Executive Orders were like Lay's potato chips. He stated "They're so good, no one, can sign just one".
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01-29-2021 07:58 by Grumpy
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