Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Pope Benedict is so old, there are only two jobs available to him. 1) Bag boy at the supermarket. 2) Run for President on the Republican ticket.

   Seriously!! Who sucked The Pope.

   Ever notice the Pope's hat looks just like an upside down McDonald's Biggie Fries box?

   I expect Obama to name himself the new Pope soon.....

   The Pope is really setting a high bar for giving something up for Lent.

   PRO TIP: If you cut your pizza up into small enough pieces,,, you can use it as a topping for your other pizza.

   Did you hear?? The Pope is giving up Jesus for Lent!!

   NBC is reporting the pope is stepping down because someone stole the van and candy he used to recruit new altar boys and the Vatican refused to buy him a new one.

   popen ain't easy- Benedict

   So the pope is aborting his papacy before it reaches full term?

   So, Pope Benedict is resigning. According to Nostradamus....errr the Bible, we only got one Pope left. Lets watch all the hypocrits run to become suddenly pious.

   At least Facebook goes down on me!

   Jerry Sandusky is retiring at the end of the month oh wait I meant The Pope My bad

   Advanced age my butt. The Pope is stepping down to take a job at the Boy Scouts because of the shortage of alter boys.

   Why does the pope get to resign with a mere 2 weeks of notice, while I have to give my employer 30 whole days?:|

   My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle.

   Don't worry, Pope Benedict XVI, I get it. Mondays make me want to quit my job too.

   I think I've managed to weird myself single.

   Maybe the Pope finally found Jesus.

   ''I want to ruin some songs today.'' -The producers of Glee every morning.