Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Reports are in that Hugo Chjavez has died....hmmmmm ✔ Saddam Hussein ✔ Osama Bin Ladden ✔ Moammar Gadhafi ✔Kim Jong IL ❒Fidel Castro ✔Hugo Chavez - Not good timesr for my Fantasy Dictator League...

   My top fav 10 dictatorship dreamteam are passing away so fast.....

   Where do we cash out these Likes? I need gas money, and by gas money I mean booze.

   I don't know her; it means I don't know if she's more miserable than me or not.

   Hot dog warmers at Citgo seem to be rolling at half-speed tonight, must be in honor of Chavez?

   Hugo Chavez...Say hello to..Adolph Hitler/Vlad III the Impaler/Joseph Stalin/Benito Mussolini/Ivan the Terrible and your friend the.Great Antichrist...The enemy of righteousness the.prince of darkness, pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name!

   Can we please have a moment of silence for the respect we lost for Hugo Chavez?

   Hugo Chavez...Hey hey my my, the evil dictator finally died..And once you're gone, you can't come back, your so welcome to satan's act!

   it just me or are Dating sites costing more than a date now? I just want to go back to the day of throwing a rock and dragging her off her feet.

   It's too bad that Hugo Chavez passed away before he had a chance to meet Dennis Rodman.

   Hugo Chavez: First confirmed victim of sequester......

   Finally figured out what twitter was today, the thing between the twaat and the sh*tter.

   Breaking News.... Jane Fonda and Dennis Rodman have been selected to act as Hugo Chavez's pall bearers at his funeral

   I had one of those days... kinda like a blind man seeing ur future,,,no like a blonde reading a book,,,nooo like a faT dude doing a speedo shoot,,,noooooo like a crack hoe selling avon.....THATS IT..... Its be a awesome day>>>>>>>

   TSA to all pocket knifes on flights. Trying to appeal to the traveler that whittles.

   It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

   The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

   Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

   I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.

   every 60 seconds in Africa, A minute passes.