love Funny Status Messages

   From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.

   I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters

   It used to be called "House Depot" until they filled it with love.

   7 years ago I met the love of my life and have been blessed every day since then... I love you Nutella.

   Behind every beautiful girl is the ugly relationship that made her scared to love again

   Fantasy Football starts now. I'm sorry honey. I will talk to you after football season. Love you Jamie wallis

   Nothing describes my love life more than watching a declawed cat trying to scratch the sofa

   Fall in love? Is that when you like the same pizza toppings as someone else?

   People that have 7 kids, let's be honest.....do you actually LOVE all those kids?

   fell in love on an elevator once and it ended in soul crushing heart break, so, no thanks Aerosmith. No frickin thanks.

   "Welcome to Costco, I love you."

   My wife and I got a book on how to spice up our love life. One suggestion was to make love in a car wash. It was great but it really pissed off those people doing their church fund raiser.

   What are people asking Meatloaf to do 'for love'?

   How many more short, funny sentences must I post on the internet before I am worthy of human love?

   I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now i'm going to a different cafe.

   Love: When you still like someone after marriage.

   Tomorrow's assignment: end every conversation with "Thank you for teaching me how to love again."

   A blow job is just like a regular job excpet men love coming to it.

   Violently cry singing Queen's Somebody To Love is my cardio.

   Just did a Google search for Gary Oldman.... for the love of God, don't forget the 'R".