friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   The week seems to go by at the speed of a snail. Unless it's the weekend. Then the snail is driving a Ferrari.

   Yes, it's Sunday and the weekend is almost over, as time flies when your having fun...I suggest doing something really boring all day long to stretch it out until midnight!

   If being drunk before 3pm on a Friday is wrong, I never want to be right.

   Screw it, I'm starting Friday now.

   I gave my wife a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.

   I spent most of the weekend interacting with real friends instead of being on Facebook. It was a horrible decision.

   It's Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for 'em.

   ah, Friday! My second favorite "F" word!

   This girl just agreed to go on a date with me this weekend. Now I just need to email her my terms and conditions and we are good to go.

   According to my shattered iPhone screen, I had a pretty awesome weekend.

   According to Facebook, everyone did some really fun things with the kids this weekend and has a dog.

   ME: Monday ƪ(´~`")∫ Tuesday (-____-)"" Wednesday (⌣́_⌣̀) Thursday Ҩ( > ̯ < )Ҩ Friday (ˆ⌣ˆ)ง Saturday ~('▽'~) (~'▽')~ Sunday (˘ʃ_ƪ˘)

   I don't know if my stomach is growling cuz I'm hungry or if that's my liver crying cuz it's the weekend.

   Hey Friday! How ya been buddy?

   It's Friday and I have the directions to Margaritaville!!

   Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

   My girlfriend said we can't hang out this weekend because she doesn't exist.

   ATTENTION !! Today has just been Upgraded to ... FRISKY FRIDAY !!! Thank you...

   The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

   I went to see a phsycic last weekend and she told me that I would be coming into money. Last night I f*cked a girl named Penny. Spooky or what.???