trump Funny Status Messages

   I was microwaving my lunch at work today ant three Trump supporters accused me of spying on the President.

   Take Nixon into the deepest days of his Watergate paranoia, subtract 50 IQ points, add Twitter, and you have Trump today.

   Don't forget to tutn your clocks forward to eliminate one hour of the Trump presidency.

   Trump just blame Obama for wire-tapping his phone. My phone just got tapped too, I blame Trump.

   If Hunter Biden's name was Hunter Trump, the media would be killing him right now...

   Rep. Maxine Waters refused to attend Trump's address to the joint session of Congress Instead she stayed home to work on a bill addressing the Russian invasion of Korea.

   Madonna was offering blowjobs to men for their vote for Hillary. I took the blow job and still voted for Trump. . .

   7 earth-like planets have been discovered nearby, with growing fear of illegal aliens, Trump has decided to turn his wall into a dome.

   The odds that Trump will get a fair shake from the corned beef pickle munching media are about as good as the odds I'll get a Justin Bieber tattoo in the small of my back!

   You people do realize that Trump's wife is an immigrant, right? Yes. And she is a LEGAL immigrant.

   I can think of one group of workers who are doing much better under this Trump presidency....comedians

   Why is Trump telling you to buy a line of clothing an ethics violation, but Obama forcing you to buy health insurance is totally OK?

   Even Prime MInister Abe of Japan was surprised by how tiny Donald Trump's hands are, and he comes from a nation of tiny-handed people.

   SNL just call me and asked me, If I want to play a character on the show. Apparently they are running out of characters to make fun of in Trump's cabinet

   At our family weddings, we always watch our senile old grandpa to see what dumb thing he will do next. Now Trump fills that role for the whole country.

   NEWS UPDATE: Donald J. Trump has dropped Mexico, China and Iran from his enemies list and added the 9th Circuit Court and Nordstrom.

   You want to know why Trump is so pissed off? Its because the whitehouse smells like coconuts and piss.

   Lady GaGa is performing with Metallica at the Grammys. Sounds like its gonna be an hour of Trump bashing and a couple crappy songs I downloaded on napster 15 years ago.

   We should build a wall around Trump.

   Mexican president Nieto threatens Trump.. Build the wall and we will launch bottle rockets at you!