friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I can't wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend

   hope the USA lands another toy car on a planet this weekend to cover up the humilating 6th place in the Paralympics

   Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.

   Can Travelocity help me find a vacant womb for the weekend?

   After a long weekend without your phone, you learn what's really important in life. Your phone.

   I see the grade schoolers are here for the long weekend with the childish "jokes"

   Tell her you love her hair, her eyes, the way she wrinkles her nose...and get laid this weekend.

   Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.

   heard someone say there is a .45 cent concert going to be held this weekend on national tv...it will be 50 cent, featuring Nickleback.....

   My wife is out of town for the weekend... I've already slid across the floor in my socks and underwear...... Now what?

   setting my timer to see how fast this weekend goes by

   I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend.

   I do declare douchebaggery and shenanigans! Happy F-Off Friday

   there such a thing as a bad friday?

   Its finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!

   Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

   feeling like it might be a randy travis kind of weekend...

   Tax free weekend: the only two days out of the year that the government isn't fckng us.

   went out on a Friday and woke up one Monday in Bratislava chained and naked on a bench in the lap of an unknown man named Miroslav

   Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday.