friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.

   heard someone say there is a .45 cent concert going to be held this weekend on national tv...it will be 50 cent, featuring Nickleback.....

   My wife is out of town for the weekend... I've already slid across the floor in my socks and underwear...... Now what?

   setting my timer to see how fast this weekend goes by

   I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend.

   I do declare douchebaggery and shenanigans! Happy F-Off Friday

   there such a thing as a bad friday?

   Its finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!

   Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

   feeling like it might be a randy travis kind of weekend...

   Tax free weekend: the only two days out of the year that the government isn't fckng us.

   went out on a Friday and woke up one Monday in Bratislava chained and naked on a bench in the lap of an unknown man named Miroslav

   Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday.

   Welcome to " Its Friday, b!tch3s!" You may place your attitudes in a laid back or don't give a phock position, underwear is optional, and as always, thank you for joining us on this weekend adventure!!

   Cheers to Friday & the weekend, but most of all thanks to good weather & friends who will get together!!!

   Oh man, it's not the weekend yet? I can't wait to stand around in some empty bar watching a crummy band and having weak drinks.

   If you're not still a little drunk on Monday morning I'm not buying your good weekend story.

   Friday the 13th is such a bunch of crap..... hang on, going to go see what this guy in a hockey mask wants at the door.... it's not even hockey season, what an idiot.... brb

   ...the brain brings up the most beautiful thoughts while trying to sleep..."hey...when was the last time we discussed ghosts , haunted mansions and serial killers in hockey masks.."...Happy Friday 13th...

   It's Friday! Time to mute your conscience and party!