Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   My credit score looks like the speed limit!

   Now all my friends are smoking crack and falling in vomit at McDonald's....appears to be an epidemic and spreading fast!

   I like Carrie Underwood better on Sunday night football

   The creator takes those who are strongest...so that those who are left behind have something to live up to. RIP Nelson Mandela

   So in other news...On his last night, Larry King will reminisce about some of his best interviews with people like Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, and Moses

   RIP the great #NelsonMandela. Morgan Freeman played you in a film & now you will meet God. Also played by Morgan Freeman.

   For the young folks who don't know who Nelson Mandela is, he was like the Cliff Huxtable to South Africa's Theo.

   Nelson Mandela the only "Black President" that will be missed!

   RIP Justin Bieber. He was just attacked by an ostrich in Louisiana 20 minutes ago.

   First Paul Walker now Nelson Mandela please let the third person be Lil Wayne

   RIP Nelson Mandela. Your "I Have A Dream" speech was an inspiration to us all.

   So if you're blind and on the toilet do you wipe until the dog barks or how does that work?

   'Nelson Mandela dies at 95' Respect where it's due... That's 5 miles an hour faster than Paul Walker!

   Nelson Mandela is dead. he has done some simply stunning things in his lifetime, my favorite was his performance as Red in Shawshank Redemption.

   Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years, yet he tackled racism, poverty, inequality and still changed the world! WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE?

   Was Nelson Mandela the driver of Paul Walker's car?

   Fast food protester sign: "Us deserve's mor then minum waig."

   Cosby Show Fact: Sandra and Elvans Children were named after Winnie and Nelson Mandela. #RIP

   Just heard Mandela died in a fiery car crash...

   Just discovered: A cup of noodles consists of two noodles, a half mile long.