trump Funny Status Messages

   Don't get Donald Trump started on how Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd is no match for Dreamy Eyes Sean Hannity.

   Wonder if Donald is going to borrow money from Vladimir Putin to pay for Trump University lawsuit.

   If to this day you still going on about how Trump won, you are an idiot of the lowest order. By now you should be talking about how Trump made America great again, which unfortunately is just a promised pipe dream.

   Jobs, jobs jobs. Trump won't stop until every American can afford to hire a Russian call girl to pee on them.

   It was fortunate that while investigation into Trump's wild claims took place, there was no other news to report.

   The bright side of Trump eradicating the ozone layer is even with melanoma and retinal cancer, we can all enjoy the pretty polluted sunsets.

   I knew Trump would declare war pretty soon into his Presidency but I didn't think we'd be so lucky he'd declare war on the "Freedom" Caucus.

   If you think Mike Pence referring to his wife as mother is disturbing, just wait until you hear what Trump calls Ivanka behind closed doors.

   The reason Trump won't release his tax returns is religious. He doesn't want us to mock his profit.

   Republican Marriages: To avoid temptation, Mike Pence won't dine alone with women. To avoid temptation, Melania Trump lives in New York.

   Flynn has agreed to testify in exchange for immunity. "Can someone please offer me a deal?" responds Melania Trump.

   Trump is trying to stop Yates from testifying because the only thing he hates more than strong women are strong women who tell the truth.

   Trump is researching if he has the power to kick Rosie O'Donnell out of the USA. Um, shouldn't he be focused on better and more important issues? He has some weird priorities.

   Trump looks like the rich dad on Law and Order whose son accidentally strangles the hooker.

   "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth" - Trump self pep talk in the mirror every morning.

   Trump and Spicerhave spent the last two months with their fingers crossed behind their backs.

   few people know that "trump" is a Russian word meaning "tiny handed buffoon who can't close the deal."

   If Trump's nose grew every time he told a lie, Melania could wipe his nose for him in New York when he is sniffling in Washington.

   New course now available at Trump University! The Art Of The Deal: Step 1) Bargain. 2) Fail. 3) Give up. 4) Blame others. 5) Go golfing.

   Monster Nursery Rhymes: Humpty Dumpty fell off of Trump's wall and had no health insurance.