santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not!

   The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..

   I don't care what you say. Arbor Day and Christmas are cousins.

   Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!

   I just found out that my wife is actually Mrs. Santa Claus!! At least that's what my kids tell me.

   The people who insist you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" are just trying to Police Navidad.

   On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,

   NOTICE: To the people who have flashing blue and red Christmas lights in their yard.....can you remove them, please? Every time I pass by, I think it is the cops and I have to remove my foot from the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seatbelt on, throw my p

   I think this Christmas Eve it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a Merry Christmas ....... poor guy.

   Dear Santa: This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body ... And please don't get it backwards like you did last year!!!

   Yup.... No matter how old you are .... an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube will always become a Star Wars light saber.

   The Media is now reporting that Christmas is actually a Russian plot hatched by Putin & Trump to lure people into a false sense of Joy. They are urging that we reject any feelings of joy and focus on being angry at the 2016 Election results.

   If you want to know if Santa has you on his “nice” list,, or his “naughty” list,, Just ask Russia,,, and they'll just hack it for you.

   Bought all of my Christmas gifts really early this year, Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes

   All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money

   I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Heck ... Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?

   This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's Christmas list.

   SCORE!!! .... I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough....Well ... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !

   ....... HA ... The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 12 more times before then.

   ...... .♫♪♫..... it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas... ♫♪♫