friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Friday!!! I’m so glad you are back. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.

   Friday - again, voted the favorite work day of the week for 156 years straight! You stay classy, Friday!!

   alcohol and drugs is not the answer...unless you're asking what I'm doing this weekend.

   Screw Daylight Savings Time. Losing an hour on the weekend means we're one hour closer to Monday. Dammit.

   Who came up with the brilliant idea of moving the clocks forward on the weekend...in the middle of the night?? Why not move them ahead on a Friday around 4PM?

   FYI - Remember to set your clocks forward an hour this weekend because we can only afford 23 hours a day now due to the sequester......

   I'm already sorry for what I'm going to do this weekend.

   If this weekend were any shorter it would be called a Kim Kardashian marriage.

   Weekend forecast: feasting, imbibing and severe debauchering!

   Got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I'm gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist and a priest.

   FYI Atheist do not have to thank anyone for Friday because Friday is a free natural phenomenon.

   Sorry you're an atheist and have no one to thank its Friday.

   Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

   Friday! There you are, you sexy son of a btich! We've been lookin for you since Monday!

   The search for Friday night is followed much too quickly by the discovery of Monday morning.

   Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since Friday.

   I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.

   I don't mean to brag, but after 30 years of marriage, my wife and I still have sex almost every night. We almost had it Friday night, almost Saturday, almost… ツ

   its Friday so you know what that means. I'm busy memorizing my spontaneous, sassy banter I'll use at the bar tonight!!

   FRIDAY......My second favorite F word