Tracy Funny Status Messages

   when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion.

   Social Networking is like Judaism based religions. 1st was Myspace, difficult to understand and these days they think there"special." 2nd came facebook; full of Hypocrites and false dreams. Lastly came Twitter; rarely understood by many and hated by most

   Crappy Ending (n): When a 45-minute massage ends with a police investigation.

   It was reported in the News recently that a former member of the KKK has volunteered to help clean and restore the Gulf. He vows to have the beaches white again in no time.

   If Gluttony really is a sin, according to a recent poll, 67% of Americans are going straight to hell.

   Yeah, let me get this right, a guy name Samson gets his super strength from his hair? Is this what rational people actually believe? Sounds like a bad hollywood movie idea with Michael Bay production values.

   Got called "shallow" recently because I said I wasnt really into "plus size" women... received the classic quote, "its not what's on the outside, it's what's inside their heart that counts." yeah, too bad their heart is the size of a Canned Ham.

   Sorry U.S. Football/Futball/Soccer team. You just weren't "Ghana" win.

   There are only 3 steps to sleeping with alot of women. 1). Have your own place. 2). Have a bar in your place 3). HAVE NO STANDARDS

   so awesome, that when I go swimming, dolphins appear.

   Thinks they should have Extreme Bejeweled Blitz Tournaments on the OCHO

   Finds that the best place to pick up women is at the Immigration Office.

   You are so pathetic that Tom wont even be friends with you on myspace.

   Grilled by the media contantly in recent weeks, authorities have stated that they had been following failed "Times Square Bomber" Faisal Shahzad for months, but only on Twitter.

   Former President Bush suggested invading the "Gulf of Mexico" to control the BP oil spill. He also proposed forming a mercenary force made up of BP executives and oil rig operators called "The Coalition of the Spillin'

   BREAKING NEWS: U.S. Kills Al-Qaeda's Number 3 for Nine Thousandth Time

   making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.

   A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

   It's pretty hot today, but I'll take the heat over the cold any time. Heat = slight sweaty discomfort; drink cold water as needed. Cold = Physical pain of the extremities; sit in a hot tub and dont get out until spring .

   Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds