Friday Funny Status Messages

   Black Friday. Or as it should be known: "Thanksgiving Is Over, We Now Return You To Your Self-Centered Lives Already In Progress."

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   I had a colonoscopy on Friday. Just let me say there are some things you should never use a Groupon for.

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   I get home and change from casual Friday duds into even more comfortable clothes. Now I just look like melted cheese.

   I was thinking about going to Walmart for Black Friday but I couldn't find my pajamas.

   Girlfriend asked me to come to her place for a Black Friday special. All clothes were 100% off.

   I think daylight saving time should start on a friday at 4pm instead of 2am sunday morning.

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up on brain-dead zombies. Oh wait. Sorry, wrong channel. This is "The View".

   Gun sales hit #1 record for a Black Friday sales item.

   Went to a Black Friday thing a my sweetheart’s house… all clothes were 100% off.

   Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

   How is Monday the 13th not as scary as Friday the 13th?!

   I know what you did last Friday the 13th.

   "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."

   Short term goal, today get past annoying Monday and Monday's close friends, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday before hanging out with Friday and Friday's hot friends Saturday and Sunday.

   Fun At The Office Tip: Eat an Easter egg on the Friday after Easter, then wait for the employees to start an office pool named, "What crawled up your a$$ and died?"

   If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.

   Most immigrants still have a lot to learn about America. Like, if you're going to take a day off, take Friday, not Thursday...

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on. Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".