Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   When your girlfriend says "Oh HE is my best friend" your relationship is already over

   Religion is a crutch for weak-minded people who can't accept reality

   I had lunch today with a woman. Okay, so the woman was on a TV show eating at the same time I was. Okay, so the woman was Berta from Two and a Half Men.

   Since irons are like 1000 degrees, who's bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made??

   did Jesus died for Bin Laden's sins too?

   Non-religious people are idiots

   Jesus was the only man to return from the dead and not eat brains.

   It is so weak, so convenient, and so easy to disparage Christianity here.there is a profoundness and goodness about Easter that many here are to lazy and shallow to consider.

   It's amazing how the brain works. I heard a song that I haven't heard in about ten years and I remembered it word for word. Yet when it came to my exams I barely even remembered how to hold my pen.

   omg black saturday makes me feel so awkward

   If god gived us free will, why does everything, I mean everything we do a sin? He should have just made robots.

   She died doing what she loved! Telling me how to drive.

   Lol religious people are nuts

   I had hoped my facebook page wouldn't lead to stalkers, but some girl named Sallie Mae found my number and has been calling me for months.

   i got distracted by something and missed my ADHD meeting again.

   Jesus IS the son of God and God's not dead. Stop living a self absorbed life holding to the flaeed ever-changing religion of Science. it is time that you understand that you are not the one in control.

   Are you on a date with me or with your phone? Just make sure that phone pays your share of this bill by the end of the night.

   MILEY CYRUS tour officially over:-CNN. *Sighh* CNN thank you for putting it as a headline.

   Jesus was just either a good salesman or a good magician. Stop basing your life on a myth. Learn to face reality and deal with your problems like an adult and stop leaving them in the hands of a non-existent entity.

   I love to laugh but on this day I am remembering the Love and Sacrifice that Jesus did so that we could be saved.Amen !!