jitney Funny Status Messages

   Shouldn't those polar bears have diabetes by now???? #tooMuchCoke

   Superbowl - what my wife eats cereal out of every morning!

   With all these Cops on the road, sometimes I pull myself over, just to avoid a cop from reading my tags.

   They say you are whatt you eat, but I dont remember eating a sexy beast,.......hahaha

   We can bailout Big Banks, but we can save an American Iconic Twinkie factory from going out of business??? Priorities People!!!!

   I hate it when random people calls me up and asks, "Did I call the right #?" ........"No buddy, you called the Left one!"

   Because of KIAs recent recalls, the Raphamsters change their tune frm, "You can can with THis or you can with that" to "You can recall This, or you can recall That"

   As a kid, I use to talk to the fan so I can hear my ROBOT voices.

   Boy: "Can I buy you a drink?"..................... Girl: "Alcohol is bad for my legs"........... Boy: "Why? Do they Swell?".....Girl: "No, they spread."

   Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!

   Just saw a pic of some light skinned black girls in thongs titled "Red Tails".

   When your clean you use SOAP, when your dirty you use SOPA.......

   If facebook gets shutdown will Tom send me my password from Myspace back?

   I'm so old, I grew up in an era where your 3D was a View Masters and you sit in the living room clickin about 15 slides. There's your Movie in HD and 3D!!!

   Hey would any of you would like to marry me for a minute? Better yet can all of you marry me? I wanna see if I can have multiple wifes on FB...

   OMG.......If you go on Google's page, the Google loggo is blackout. The too buttons that are left is "Google Search", and "I'm feeling lucky". Unfortunately my project is due and I'm not so lucky. yeesh(-__-)

   Heat Fans on Fire....... "Sorry, what you said honey? You screwing my neighbor....oh ok, I'll talk to you after the game!"

   You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook..... turn your computer off.... go to bed, roll over & put the covers on you and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.

   I have a dream, that I could just get paid for having a dream.

   In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King I will be marching 12 miles to work today in the middle of the street....