life Funny Status Messages

   Real life friends? In this economy??

   If the best things in life are free, why am I still charged when I go to the liquor store?

   there are two words in life that will open many doors for you: pull and push.

   Ciick-fil-a surprises Florida man for his 100th birthday with free food for life.

   I’m, like, 3 showers and an intervention away from getting my life together.

   As a New Yorker " aight bet " could mean " I totally agree with you" or possibly your life is in danger

   Life is an ever expanding list of things that you used to enjoy.

   If I'm ever on life support, unplug me..... then plug me back in. See if that works.

   Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself, call me, then I will.

   As soon as the new iPhone was announced, a weird thing happened. My old iPhone started begging for its life.

   There are 3 unwritten rules fop a good life. #1.........................#2........................ #3.........................

   Leaving your window open for an hour in the summertime and then the cast from f*@k!?g bug's Life start producing their second film!!

   My life is like when you're holding your laundry and a sock falls and you go to pick it up and two more fall and eventually everything is on the floor.

   Dear men, Life without women...... Would literally be a pain in the a$$!

   Life is just one, giant, wrong hole.

   Please don't say piracy is a victimless crime... Escape Plan 2 is 1h 45m of my life I will never get back again

   Life Lesson: The ONLY person that can pledge 100% loyalty to you is YOURSELF.

   If at any point in your life you feel useless, just remember there are people on the BMW assembly lines that install turn signals..”

   Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?

   Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life? ...... I do.