Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If you want to undertake a survey to judge the public’s mood or feeling about something, someone or an event, please do not include people on social media because 90% of them are idiots.
←Rate | 07-18-2014 08:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
←Rate | 07-18-2014 07:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Going forward, we will only be selling one-way tickets." -Malaysian Airlines press release
←Rate | 07-18-2014 07:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
←Rate | 07-18-2014 03:35 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
←Rate | 07-18-2014 03:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you give me the opposite of these words quickly: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down
←Rate | 07-18-2014 01:39 by JasonC Comments (3)  


   messageicon Note to self: Do NOT fly Malaysian Airlines.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 22:16 by cpaman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Lakers are signing players like Nicolas Cage picks his movies.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 19:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Malaysian Airlines will only be selling one way tickets from now on.....
←Rate | 07-17-2014 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *at the cat shelter* Yes hi, where are the shopping carts?
←Rate | 07-17-2014 16:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could spend my day outside, but I'm sure there's plenty of p0rn that needs to be rated.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 15:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not really into the idea of letting a set of made up ancient rules dictate my life. Hell I'm not real keen modern laws telling me what I can and cannot do!
←Rate | 07-17-2014 14:33 by John Y Comments (2)  


   messageicon The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:52 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:51 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got you something better than a present. I wrote "happy birthday dude" on your Facebook when a robot reminded me it was your birthday.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Vladimir Putin says at least we know where this Malaysian Airliner is.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all of the people whom voted for Obama the second time: There's an idiot on your keyboard right between the letter "Y" and "I"
←Rate | 07-17-2014 13:38 Comments (3)  


   messageicon "I quit" - Ahmad Jauhari Yahya, Group Chief Executive Officer Malaysia Airlines
←Rate | 07-17-2014 12:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 12:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn't make sandwiches? A compromise.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 12:15 Comments (0)  




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