Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1872 of 6446

If you want to undertake a survey to judge the public’s mood or feeling about something, someone or an event, please do not include people on social media because 90% of them are idiots.
←Rate |
07-18-2014 08:26
Comments (0)

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
←Rate |
07-18-2014 07:17
Comments (0)

"Going forward, we will only be selling one-way tickets." -Malaysian Airlines press release
←Rate |
07-18-2014 07:02
Comments (0)

Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.

Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
←Rate |
07-18-2014 03:33 by flinnie
Comments (0)

Can you give me the opposite of these words quickly: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down
←Rate |
07-18-2014 01:39 by JasonC
Comments (3)

Note to self: Do NOT fly Malaysian Airlines.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 22:16 by cpaman
Comments (0)

The Lakers are signing players like Nicolas Cage picks his movies.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 19:52
Comments (0)

Malaysian Airlines will only be selling one way tickets from now on.....
←Rate |
07-17-2014 17:04
Comments (0)

*at the cat shelter* Yes hi, where are the shopping carts?
←Rate |
07-17-2014 16:59 by Baddie
Comments (0)

I could spend my day outside, but I'm sure there's plenty of p0rn that needs to be rated.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 15:34 by Baddie
Comments (0)

I’m not really into the idea of letting a set of made up ancient rules dictate my life. Hell I'm not real keen modern laws telling me what I can and cannot do!
←Rate |
07-17-2014 14:33 by John Y
Comments (2)

The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.

If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.

I got you something better than a present. I wrote "happy birthday dude" on your Facebook when a robot reminded me it was your birthday.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 13:49 by flinnie
Comments (0)

President Vladimir Putin says at least we know where this Malaysian Airliner is.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 13:41
Comments (0)

To all of the people whom voted for Obama the second time: There's an idiot on your keyboard right between the letter "Y" and "I"
←Rate |
07-17-2014 13:38
Comments (3)

"I quit" - Ahmad Jauhari Yahya, Group Chief Executive Officer Malaysia Airlines
←Rate |
07-17-2014 12:48
Comments (0)

A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 12:46
Comments (0)

What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn't make sandwiches? A compromise.
←Rate |
07-17-2014 12:15
Comments (0)