Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1850 of 6386
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
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06-16-2014 13:51 by Czovczov
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Ladies if you want me, I'll be in the Friend zone driving under the speed limit as usual.
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06-16-2014 13:48 by Baddie
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Try as you might, ladies, giraffes will always have the deep throat category on lock.
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06-16-2014 13:47 by Baddie
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I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
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06-16-2014 13:47
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Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
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06-16-2014 13:44 by Baddie
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#bringbackourboys Lets make peace not war. Lets love and not hate. We are all the same. We all have the same inspirations in life. Let's do good for each other and stop the hatred.
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06-16-2014 13:14 by JMW
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My car doesn't have a passenger airbag but don't worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
The NBA Finals was a circus for LeBron, except a circus has three rings.
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06-16-2014 12:33 by lkma627
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All the sin around today just means more girls for me in Heaven!!
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06-16-2014 12:20
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Breaking news: a massive earthquake measuring 8.8 on the Richter scale was just reported in south florida Don't be alarmed- it was just all of the heat bandwagon fans jumping off at the same time
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06-16-2014 11:41 by JCW
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Do you think after the World Cup they all have orange slices and drink capri suns after the game and then their moms pick them up in their minivans? #SoccerSucks
MONDAYS ARE LIKE THAT UNCLE THAT USED TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND FART IN YOUR FACE...he was laughing but we never were...
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06-16-2014 08:58
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How to walk UP the down escalator:... Step 1:... Step 1:.... Step 1:... Step 1:...Step 1:...
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06-16-2014 08:44 by snotty
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Taco Bell is selling breakfast now?.. Cool, I guess I can move into the men's restroom... If you need me, I'll be in my new office.
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06-16-2014 08:39 by snotty
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Woman failed the battle of the sexes when you started to do pole dancing and class it as exercise
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06-16-2014 04:36
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whatever you do, no matter how hard it is. never engage panic mode
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06-16-2014 04:14 by Icynoel
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That moment when spurs get a 20 point lead and I got diarrhea.....
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06-15-2014 23:03 by jitney
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Poor Duane will have to Wade till next year.
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06-15-2014 22:31
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Looks like LeBron is done till cramp begins next season.
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06-15-2014 22:27
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Just wrapped up a great Father's Day with a phone call with my Dad. He taught me everything I know about fishing, grilling,and fixing things. He also taught me what to say and how to say it if I stub my toe or hit my thumb with a hammer. Thanks Dad!
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06-15-2014 21:19 by Jiffy Pop
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