Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Titanic be like: I nominate all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenege
←Rate | 08-20-2014 22:55 by A.J. Comments (0)  


   messageicon @nbcagt: "I once got trapped on an escalator when the power went out and I was scared for my life!"
←Rate | 08-20-2014 22:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A family reunion with NO alcholol? What is the point?
←Rate | 08-20-2014 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The news always showing pictures of these thugs when they were little kids is like a girl who has a profile picture when she was a hundred pounds lighter.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 21:21 by Berkley Comments (0)  


   messageicon A gaggle of geese... A murder of crows... A nope of laundry.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 20:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge. Sincerely, The Titanic
←Rate | 08-20-2014 19:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!!!
←Rate | 08-20-2014 17:17 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don't know yet though she's still in bed
←Rate | 08-20-2014 15:56 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yankee Stadium says it will start adding metal detectors as a way to beef up security. And then they went back to selling beer and baseball bats to New Yorkers.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 15:37 by Mark M Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the Redskins change their name it is my hope the cowboys from Wyoming, Montana and the Dakotas make sure Jerry Jones changes the name of his team so Cowboys won't be portrayed as PUSSIES.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I nominate Clint Eastwood,to the Franklin Mo. challence,to go straighten this whole mess out and restore law and order.You have 24 hours...good lu
←Rate | 08-20-2014 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "Do Not Resuscitate"
←Rate | 08-20-2014 13:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Poor planning on your part does not make it is an emergency on my part.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 10:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coming to Facebook for religion is like visiting a strip club to find a woman to marry. Wrong place.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
←Rate | 08-20-2014 02:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's no chance it can give me a heart attack then I'm not interested in eating it.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 02:33 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 02:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look kiddo, you're 7 now. Daddy's Gin & Tonic needs to be mixed a lot better than that. Rules are rules. Standard def TV only this weekend.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 02:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 01:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well well well if it isn't the bills I keep throwing away.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 01:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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