father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   flipping channels and saw a girl I hooked up with about a year ago on the Maury show talking about she had only been with two guys and she was 100% he was the father of her baby. It was hilarious! I stopped laughing when Maury said you are not the father.

   - I would quit drinking, but my father didn't raiser a quiter.

   wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.

   If your father is a poor man, it is your fate, but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. :)

   ..thought it was a good thing adding her parents to Facebook until I posted " is going out for the night!" & mum commented "Good! That means me and your father can have loud sex now!". I'll remember to lock my bedroom door before I go out..

   youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

   hopes nobody else dresses up as Justus von Liebig, Father of biochemistry who recorded minerals in plant ash and proposed the law of minimum.

   One time my own father caught me watching a porno movie. The one thing you never wanna hear in that situation is, “son, move over.”

   They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

   your father smells of elder berries

   your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.

   NOT the father!