Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1789 of 6386
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
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08-07-2014 10:50 by BEGO
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Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
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08-07-2014 08:31
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my superpower is getting tired after doing nothing
White girls who don't get naked when you're drunk.. Explain yourselves.
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08-07-2014 02:28
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My favorite in-laws are the ones that don't exist.
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08-07-2014 01:59 by Baddie
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pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
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08-07-2014 01:57 by Baddie
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If I get murdered at any given time...my chalk outline will be holding a beer.
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08-07-2014 01:55
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Old people sure have a way of making eating look sad.
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08-07-2014 01:55 by Baddie
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Well well well, if it isn't the girl who escaped from my trunk.
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08-07-2014 01:20 by Baddie
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Anyone who isn't schizophrenic these days isn't thinking clearly.
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08-07-2014 01:19
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I couldn't afford to visit the zoo, so I went to the trailer park instead.
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08-07-2014 01:18
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Imagine how much pride you'll feel being eaten by lions.
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08-06-2014 22:27 by snotty
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My analysis reveals that, via his crafty use of the double negative,,, Ray Parker Jr was, in fact,, afraid of *some* ghosts.
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08-06-2014 22:26 by snotty
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I was wondering if I go on a Banana diet, will I end up throwing my feces like a gorilla does. . .
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08-06-2014 21:07 by JAB
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Long story short I can't get these pet rocks to mate and now I'm under major pressure from my investors.
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08-06-2014 19:15 by snotty
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I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn't like it.
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08-06-2014 19:15 by snotty
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Wife swapping?..... Count me in... Here she is, you're in the middle of a divorce.
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08-06-2014 19:12 by snotty
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"If anyone here knows why these two should not be married speak now or-"......*Admiral Akbar rises*...... "IT'S A TRAP!!!..."
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08-06-2014 19:06 by snotty
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Tomorrow is "Drag your ex behind your car to work day".
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08-06-2014 18:42
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