friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Lets be honest. If Ben Affleck as Batman ruined your weekend...there wasn't much to ruin in the first place.

   JAB: I woke up all excited this morning, got dressed to go to work,it's Friday: Pay day and than I realized, I don't have a job and went back to bed. . .

   Hey Carl, know what day it is? It's Friday. Woot woot. Suck it Carl.

   Friday is like the bacon of the work week salad, and yes, Monday is like the brown lettuce

   My boss told me that if I can't show up sober then don't bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!

   People without jobs are so like...It's Friday?

   I am tried of 7 day weeks and having to wait for the weekend. I think the week should be as followed. Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Get rid of Wednesday and Thursdays. . .

   Friday are we there yet?

   My boss yelled at me yesterday "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it's Friday?"…

   I don't have to thank noone for Friday because its a natural phenomenon controlled by nobody but nature.

   To my Atheist friends: Who do you thank now that's Friday?

   This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China..

   It's Friday! That means just two more days until Monday.

   Friday night: 7pm. The annual Peter pulling contest will be at St. Taffy's. Everyone welcome.

   Fish have sex without penetration. Yes I was watching National Geographic all weekend.

   A lot of folks are going to be upset that the Zimmerman jury didn't come to a verdict tonight. A prime weekend looting night, down the drain..

   That drunk girl that steals my phone and pretends to be me on here every weekend is coming over tonight

   Why is it that one who smokes marijuana is automatically a pothead, but one who drinks every weekend isn't a drunk?

   The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.

   I remember when a wasted weekend had absolutely nothing to do with being unproductive.