Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1693 of 6384
They should wait until tomorrow morning to announce the verdict so everyone in Ferguson will be at work. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
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11-24-2014 19:58
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What time does that rioting and looting reality show start tonight?
Tonight seems like the perfect night to stay home, pop up some popcorn, veg in front of the TV and watch Ferguson burn to the ground.
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11-24-2014 19:50
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in my opinion, a camel's back seems like a very inefficient way to transport straws,,, but I might be a bit biased here.
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11-24-2014 18:56 by snotty
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“I shall always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.”
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11-24-2014 17:05
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♪ ♫ "Oh come all ye looters Joyful and on welfare Come ye oh come ye to Ferguson."
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11-24-2014 17:00
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If you don't have anything interesting to say, say it in a status update.
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11-24-2014 14:21
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Did you know that the average person gains 4 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Good thing my mom told me I would never be average.
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11-24-2014 12:28 by snotty
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If I ever go blind, I'll wear two eyepatches, so people will just assume I am a double pirate.
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11-24-2014 12:25 by snotty
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I saw that veterans got a free meal at Golden Corral on Veterans Day. Why?... Haven't those poor guys been through enough?
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11-24-2014 12:22 by snotty
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Naughty phrases you can say on thanksgiving: "Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"..."It's a little dry, do you still wanna eat it??" "You still have some on your chin"..."If I don't undo my pants I'm gonna bust!!"
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11-24-2014 11:16
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Black Friday is the American version of running with the bulls
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11-24-2014 11:15
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I'm sure we all remember those days when we thought porn was also available on youTube
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11-24-2014 10:00 by shane-dbn
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In other news, no 12 y/o's riding their bikes got shot today.
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11-24-2014 09:42
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Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
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11-24-2014 09:41 by zack
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Somewhere someone's therapist knows you.
If you're happy and you know it, don't stop drinking.
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11-24-2014 09:23
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On a scale of Amanda Bynes to the woman who wants to marry Charles Manson, my cat only thinks I'm Gary Busey crazy.
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11-24-2014 09:22
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Charles Manson is getting married to a 26-year-old and I’m still single. I’ll never hear the end of it from my mother at thanks giving.
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11-24-2014 08:47
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Am I the only one hoping that grand jury decision in Ferguson Missouri lines up with my black Friday shopping plans?
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11-24-2014 08:41
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