Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Pete Carroll Press Conference "I'm just here so I don't get fined"

   Patriots better deflate that frigging ball or they are going to be in trouble.

   I stll like your clam chowder

   Was watching the Katy Perry Halftime Show and a tribute to Owen Hart broke out...

   OK which team has the most dreadlocks?

   So there's a football game going on at the Katy Perry concert?

   She lost me at, " I'm going for the Seahawks!"

   No! No, Bryant Gumbel!! We DON'T want to see Katie Couric "twerk"! PLEASE don't ask her again!

   I can make beer disappear, what is your super power?

   After the lost of Whitney Houston in the bath tub, one would think Bobbie Kristina would...perhaps stay clear of tubs and spend more time in the shower instead.

   Deflated balls and accused of cheating?? Been there; done that.

   If we put a pair of glasses on the Super Bowl we could probably find out it's true identity.

   Thanks for the advice, officer. I'll try to be less black next time.

   [job interview] "So tell me something about yourself" I'm on medication

   Not sure about the footballs, but Katy Perry's chest appears properly inflated.

   Imagine sex with me. Too late. It's over.

   The only real importance in life is getting ahead. Head. I meant to say head.

   Only 4 beers left in house. Time to find new house.

   Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet. You don't know.

   Let's kill people that disagree with our beliefs. - said no atheist ever