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Relationship Status: Intercepting blown kisses.
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12
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12-19-2014 04:46 by
Baddie
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90% of socializing is wondering what to do with your hands when out in public.
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12-19-2014 04:44 by
Baddie
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Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
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10
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12-19-2014 04:42 by
Psycho
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Horoscope: Yes she got all your texts.
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9
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12-19-2014 04:35 by
Kisstopher707
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One day girl, all those flashing lights and sirens will be for us.
8
10
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12-19-2014 04:34 by
Kisstopher707
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Please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito. Dammit the trainee is making my burrito.
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12-19-2014 04:28
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"But why?" - Me at weddings
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6
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12-19-2014 04:24
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But Officer, that's just my medicinal sawed-off shotgun.
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12-19-2014 04:23 by
Baddie
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[breaks apart couple holding hands] You're free now
6
7
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12-19-2014 04:15 by
Psycho
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[During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, in The Titanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
52
11
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12-19-2014 00:11 by
Baddie
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If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it's technically a cat
37
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12-19-2014 00:10 by
Baddie
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"Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."
21
7
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12-19-2014 00:10
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Debt doesn't buy happiness either.
38
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12-19-2014 00:05
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Someone called me lazy today I almost objected.
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9
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12-19-2014 00:03 by
Kisstopher707
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It's actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
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8
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12-19-2014 00:01 by
Kisstopher707
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Everybody needs a playground...
8
5
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12-18-2014 23:58
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There's still so much I have to unlearn.
11
4
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12-18-2014 23:55 by
Kisstopher707
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How do women think without a pen*s?
12
13
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12-18-2014 23:53
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Sorry I asked for a receipt when you gave me your heart..
4
8
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12-18-2014 23:53 by
Baddie
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0
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Dear Sony Hackers, So....What can you do about the Kardashians???
17
8
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12-18-2014 23:51
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