Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1658 of 6384
You laugh at me because I'm different but I laugh at you because you're all the same.
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12-30-2014 20:57
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Sometimes I get mad watching my parents spend my inheritance money.
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12-30-2014 19:12
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"I can't wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver
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12-30-2014 19:03 by rh
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I hate it when I shake it too hard & a drop of pee hits me in the face. These guys probably think it's my first day as a bathroom attendant.
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12-30-2014 15:17 by Nipper
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What Obama's secretary should have said, "Why don't you play #17 twice, its a nice par 3"
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12-30-2014 12:49 by Kado
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PRO TIP: If you see a carrot on tinder,,,,, ALWAYS swipe left
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12-30-2014 12:24 by snotty
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2015 Come on everybody let's party like a Cleveland Browns back up quarterback!!!
Pro tip - You can blame anything on autocorrect. ANYTHING!
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12-30-2014 10:09
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Relax, I only plan on violating you virtually, you sexy beast.
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12-30-2014 10:04
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Burger King!.... because every place else is closed.
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12-29-2014 19:15
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How come the word Flatulance is not Fartulance?
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12-29-2014 18:36
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Dear Chocolate Covered Blueberries, Seriously where have you been all my life? I can see why your big sister Chocolate Covered Cherries has kept you secret all these years. Wow.
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12-29-2014 17:17 by Jiffy Pop
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What you call vocabulary, others may call jargon, gibberish, lingo or slang...but its all the same to me.
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12-29-2014 15:16 by John Y
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⚪️ single ⚪️ taken 🔘 stuck in 20 friend zones
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12-29-2014 12:23
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Social Media: When you can't stand being around human beings but also can't stand to be alone with your thoughts.
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12-29-2014 10:24 by Baddie
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My dream job is to drive Karma's bus.
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12-29-2014 10:10
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So blunt you could smoke me.
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12-29-2014 10:09
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It's hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
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12-29-2014 09:57
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People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald’s scare me.
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12-29-2014 05:14 by flinnie
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Facebook has been around 11 years. Which means there has never been a post about the Raiders making the playoffs.
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12-28-2014 22:12
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