Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1642 of 6384
is ❒Taken ❒Single ✔ awesome
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01-20-2015 15:41
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If anyone is looking for an unlicensed private plane pilot. Please give me a call, my rates are as low as I can go by state laws. . .
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01-20-2015 14:47 by JAB
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I can't keep doing this, but keeps doing this - WOMEN
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01-20-2015 13:28
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I like my women the same way I like my suits...Double-Breasted!
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01-20-2015 10:12 by Json
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Women who carry a little extra weight live long than the men who mention it
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01-20-2015 07:14
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Ladies be careful when a dude asks you to come over and 'chill' it can lead to chill-dren
you must work for Malaysia air because you make all my worries disappear.
Just got a text asking if I want to go to church on Sunday. I laughed so hard I choked on my vodka and shot my d ildo across the room.
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01-19-2015 23:34 by KAREN
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Statistics say more than one third of marriages start online. The other two thirds will end online...
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01-19-2015 20:47 by eengrms
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Repeating jokes to different crowds is part of part of the fun, sometimes it is beneficial to change them up slightly each time, making them stronger, funnier jokes. So find something better to do with your time. Or just keep being a D!<k.
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01-19-2015 19:53
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"Respect costs you nothing?!" Are you sure?!
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01-19-2015 18:20
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"Never give up," I whisper to myself as I text her for the 68th time." Restraining order is on the way.
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01-19-2015 18:10
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I can't wait until tomorrow when all the Martin Luther King, Jr. fried chicken is 75% off.
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01-19-2015 16:53
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The Colts would of lost using a Nerf football. . .
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01-19-2015 16:49 by JAB
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I just found some old "coupons" I got from an ex for a birthday. Any of you ladies take competitor's coupons?
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01-19-2015 16:30 by John Y
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K-WHEN, because everyone already knows why.
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01-19-2015 16:08 by John Y
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You should learn from the past, live for today, and look forward to tomorrow... I'm gonna take a nap!
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01-19-2015 16:02 by John Y
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I don't know how the Green Bay Packers could have possibly lost that game with my dad shouting orders at the TV.
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01-19-2015 15:59 by snotty
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If you hold up a Shell and listen, you should hear the clerk tell you that he doesn't want any trouble.
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01-19-2015 15:58 by John Y
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I can't wait until tomorrow when all the Martin Luther King, Jr. candy is 75% off.
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01-19-2015 15:54 by snotty
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