Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "Stupid Left Shark takes one misstep during a Super Bowl and now he is famous " - Right Shark(-_-)

   Every coach I know took 10 years to graduate from college so no, I'm not surprised by the bonehead play call.

   Super Bowl....wtf is that? I only speak soccer and champions league

   What's next TLC...a little people Polygamist family with 38 kids?

   Bathtubs 2, Browns 0

   Johnny Football requests as much publicity as possible during his rehab.

   Gas is under $2 , Missy Elliot played the Super Bowl and Suge Knight just killed somebody again. The 90s are back!

   after 16 years of leaving the Patriots, Pete Carroll finally won a superbowl for them

   suge knight out here killin people, wu-tang about to drop a new album, gas under $2.... I feel like a kid again.

   I've just found my first grey pube............Don't think I'll order pizza from there again.

   Struggling to get my arm in this pringles can, so I get it black guys.

   anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have

   I watch my dog sniff the air and I wonder what he knows about this world that I don't..

   You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"

   When Missy Elliot asks if he has a big @#$%, I assume she means refrigerator.

   "Psssssssssssssss" ~ The sound of Richard Sherman's ego being deflated by Tom Brady

   You'd think there were more UFO sightings with all these action cams and camera phones.

   Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.

   Momma left strict instructions to knock you out

   I hope the MVP has his shots up to date. Disneyland is dangerous nowadays!