life Funny Status Messages

   The best things in life are free...for now, wait until the government finds a way to tax you on that!

   Life experiences are like quarters, you lose both when you are sitting around on the couch.

   Everyone has three lives: their public life, private life, and secret life.

   Sometimes it seems I spend half my life just breathing in.

   Never think of the past it brings tears, If you think of the future it brings fears, so live life in the present & drink chilled BEERS Bon Okterber Fest

   I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Mac book.

   My heart is on life support and I'm seriously thinking about pulling the plug and collecting the insurance money!

   Heard the best pick up line of my life last night: "Excuse me. Are you capable of an intelligent conversation?"

   I life without mistakes, is a life full of mistakes!

   Fortune Cookie: "Your life will be happy and peaceful." Dear Cookie: What drugs are you on? We should share.

   Dear God, it's me again. Can you bring the toolbox? My life needs fixing.

   Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

   Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.

   Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A

   Yes, I've made mistakes, but life didn't come with instructions on.

   When life hands you lemons you make lemonade so find somebody with vodka and have a party!!

   Life is funny. Well, yours is. To me.

   People who gossip need to get their own life, those who listen and believe it need to get a life.

   What pisses you off more? The fact that I don't need you in my life...or that you can't have me in yours??

   i feel bad when I see strangers with their zipper down I want to tell them but I feel I would be inviting danger into my life